A Thursday night

The girls are in the upstairs hall bathroom, playing "Showtime" with the curtain in the shower. Allie seems to be getting the most applause, not surprising since she makes the most noise overall.

They have Rabies trapped in there with them, and they've been opening and slamming the cabinet drawers. If I'm going to prevent a recurrence of the infamous cabinet drawer incident, I guess I'm going to have to get up and rescue him.

The girls have now come out on their own, and they're playing on top of my bed. Pretending to be ghosts with my top sheet, despite my warnings about falling off the bed or pulling the sheet out, which would seriously tick me off since I have a headache and my nose hurts.

Now they're pretending that they're flying in clouds (under the sheet). All of Daddy's pillows are too tempting of a target, so they're jumping into that pile too.

Watching them play (and not fight) is heartwarming and sweet and all that, but I can't help wishing that they'd clear out so I can try to go to sleep. I hate being sick.

Isn't this what it's like?

I feel that if I take a deep breath, I'm immediately going to have to cough. It hurts when I swallow, like I accidentally got some glass down there. I feel like there's a short fat kid sitting in the middle of my chest. My head feels like it has a steel band around it. My nose is mostly stuffed up, at least where it isn't running. I know by tomorrow or the day after, the bottom of my nose is going to be bright red and sore from wiping so much. My lips are going to get chapped from having to breathe with my mouth open while I sleep.

Gee, only 6-9 more days to be sick with this cold.

The everlasting germ and other headaches

Almost two weeks ago, Allie got a nasty cold from a boy at daycare. It took a long time for Julia to get it, really until this past Friday. About the same time, Greg started getting symptoms too. And now today, Tuesday, I have that horrible feeling that you get in your nose and throat when you know you're getting sick. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I also had a pretty unpleasant visit with the dentist today. Though I'm having no problems at all, as a new patient with this dentist, I have two other appointments to go. They're doing an extraordinary level of examination, checking for TMJ and proper bite and periodontal disease and oral cancer. I'm not usually too paranoid about going to the dentist, but they took 18 separate x-rays today (yes, you read that right), then poked hard around each of my teeth repeatedly with a probe (boy howdy, was that fun) and then cleaned my teeth.

I have a headache. Not a particularly good day.

Because he said he'd have me

I love watching TV with my husband above all others. That's because only with him can I be absolutely as contemptuous and scathing as I like about stupid people on various shows. He understands, echoes and expands on my comments, and doesn't believe I'm a horrible person in the end. What more could you ask.

Tonight we were watching House Hunters, a show where people do nothing but look at houses for sale and then buy one (it's surprisingly addictive, trust me). The woman of the couple was not very bright. She was a student, and one of the things on their wish list was an area for her to study.

They visited a house that had nice built in cabinets and a built in desk in one room. She walked up to the desk and said, "These built-ins are nice, I could use this one as a desk!" Gosh, you know, I bet that would work out really well, since it was a desk.

Then they saw a small dining room. The husband said, "Kind of a small room." She said, "Not too small for a table and chairs!" Wow, a table and chairs. What a great sense of how best to use a space this woman has.

She was also a real estate agent herself, but they used a real estate agent to find a house. OK, isn't that kind of the whole point of that career, being able to find a great house when you want one?

They live in the Baltimore area. I'm glad they're out there and I'm here. That way, the chances that I'll meet her someday in person and tell her that I'm sorry she's stupid are much lower.

And yes, I've been on TV twice and both times I was OK with how I came across (other than how my voice sounded). Have you ever been on TV and what did you think of your appearance?

It's over

Today, I put in my garden. Yes, I fully recognize that it's more than a month late. Yes, I know that area nurseries are pretty much giving away what's left of their straggly, leggy plants. Yes, it really didn't take that long to do.

Regardless, it's done and the pitiful plants are in the ground. Now they'd better get goddamn busy growing. I want tomatoes in two weeks so Greg can make salsa.

Deadly

We were discussing what to have for dinner tonight. Julia is coming down sick and she never eats anything when she's ill, so I was resolved to give her something she really likes to improve her nutrition chances.

I offered chicken nuggets. Greg suggested spaghetti. Allie said she wanted chicken nuggets. I suggested chicken nuggets and spaghetti. Julia said she just wanted spaghetti. Greg said he would make chicken breasts on the grill for himself and Allie. Allie whined that she wanted chicken nuggets.

Greg said, it's the same thing! Allie said, it's not the same! Greg said, the only difference is the breading. That breading will kill you. Allie looked doubtful and worried.

I made like a zombie and proceeded to try to strangle Greg, saying, I'm the breading and I'm going to kill you. Allie laughed. She got chicken nuggets and spaghetti for dinner. The kids won again.

Do you have a plan?

I was listening to the radio on the way home tonight and an author was talking about Hillary Rodham Clinton. Apparently, when Hillary agreed to marry Bill, the two of them made a pact. They came up with a twenty year plan that would result in Bill becoming President of the United States. Later, after Bill had actually become president, they came up with a new pact that said, 8 years for Bill, then 8 years for Hillary. Right now, they're working on this second part of the pact.

I think this is amazing. At the time, apparently in the mid-70s, Hillary was about 28 years old. I didn't look it up, but I would assume that Bill was a couple of years older. When I was 28 years old, I was planning nothing more than decorating the condo I'd just bought.

If you're older than 28, did you have a plan then? Do you have a plan now?

Future cartographer

Allie and I were watching "Little People, Big World" tonight, which is about a family where the mom and dad are little people or dwarves. They have four children, one of whom is also a little person. We were talking about the family living in Oregon and I told Allie that Oregon is pretty far away. She somehow had the idea that they lived in Wisconsin too. The daughter in the family was talking about all of the places in the world that she wanted to visit some day while looking at maps and I told Allie that I love maps too.

Afterwards, I ran to the grocery store to get milk and apple juice (gotta have apple juice) and there by the magazines was a display of atlases for kids. Well, that was just too perfect. Of course I bought one.

Allie was still up when I got home because she took a short nap at daycare today, so I threw the perishables in the fridge and we sat down to take a look at her new book. She was very excited. It has maps of each state with another map showing the state's position in the U.S. There are all kinds of games and activities and writing exercises. She really likes it.

And if she's a good girl, I might stop looking at it myself and let her read it.

Latest ever

I don't have much space to garden at our home. There's a little bit of a soil along our front walkway. I planted hostas along it the first spring after we moved in, and 9 years later, they completely fill in the space. That's wonderful, because it means I don't have to weed or plant flowers in the spaces between the plants, like I used to have to do.

About 5 years ago, Greg made me a small garden in the backyard that's surrounded by landscape timbers. I've always grown tomatoes, and I've tried peppers and basil. For the last two years, I've worked late most weeknights, so I haven't kept up well on my weeding. This year, I still haven't gotten any plants in my garden. Earlier today, I finally planted something in the pots on either side of the driveway.

I may get the garden worked up later tonight or tomorrow, after it cools off outside, but this is definitely the latest ever that I've gotten my planting done. I tell myself it'll just mean that after everyone else's tomatoes are all finished, we'll still be getting gorgeous homegrown beauties. Pure rationalization, yes, thank you.

In commemoration

Allie had a friend over for her very first sleepover (with Allie as a hostess). We picked up her friend Hannah last night about 5:30, went to Tony Roma's for dinner, then headed to an amazing playground (I've written about it before). We came home, the girls started to watch a movie and eat popcorn, then they decided instead to play on Allie's computer and torture our cats.

They had the requisite pillow fight and settled down to sleep about 10:30. This morning, we made Belgian waffles and bacon (Hannah really, really likes bacon) and then the girls played for awhile in Allie's Daddy's new hammock. I still haven't gotten to sit in the hammock, by the way, but I'm not bitter. Not at all. Then they played in two different sprinklers in the front yard and shot each other with water guns. They came in and played in Allie's room again, tortured the cats some more, then watched some TV.

After lunch, we made plastic bead animals (hard to describe, except that after you assemble them on a board, you iron them to make them into one piece). Hannah's mom came to pick her up at 2, and their playdate was over. Allie loved it and Hannah was very nice. I have a feeling this little event will be repeated many, many times over the next few years of her life. And that's a very cool thing.

Trees

I like trees. They're cool, and standing under one can cool you off. I don't like the sun too much, so trees come in handy for shade. They're pretty. They tell you if it's windy or if a really big storm could be coming. They provide homes for lots of animals and bugs and stuff. They make oxygen, and oxygen has a tendency to come in handy for humans. They do lots of other good environmental things, that I'm sure of, but I can't list any additional ones. I like to watch how they get bigger over time, especially in my yard. They add value to homes and they make places look nice. You can build homes in trees and out of trees and you can even eat trees (and their baby nuts too). They're handy for comparing against the growth of children.

On the other hand, they can be messy. They fall down sometimes and wreck things and hurt people. Some people say that trees actually hurt global warming (but I don't remember how, I just read that somewhere). Sometimes people drive off roads and when they hit trees, the people die (and the trees too, for that matter). I guess the people could die by hitting something else, but maybe if the tree wasn't there, they'd just stop naturally and end up safe. Trees get in the way when people try to do other things in rural areas, like farm. And they get in the way when you're trying to see long distances.

Overall, though, trees seem to win out as good things instead of bad things.

See what happens when you can't think of anything to blog about?

Leap year

Simon the cat has found a new way to give me a heart attack. A few nights ago, I was sitting in the chair in the corner of our bedroom, which has a view right down the length of the hallway upstairs.

Simon was participating in his normal ritual of nighttime craziness, which involves much running up and down the hall and tearing up and down the stairs. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention, until he disappeared.

The cat ran down the hall way, made a very sharp turn left, and jumped across three feet of open stairwell onto the plant shelf that's opposite. This is in our front entryway, which is two stories high. The plant shelf, which is on top of the front hall closet, is about 8 1/2 to 9 feet from the ground. It has a large basket on it with a fake plant in it.

He jumped across three feet of open stairwell, landed on the shelf, pushing the basket over slightly. He walked once around the basket, then positioned himself to jump back. This jump back, by the way, is through the railing of the upstairs landing. The spindles are 4 1/2 inches apart (I just measured), the width that's specified by building code so little kids can't get their heads stuck in the banister.

Four and one half inches. Did I mention that Simon the cat is about 4 1/2 inches wide? Yes, he is (he's supposed to be on a diet since he steals most of his brother's food, but that's another subject). So he's looking at jumping three feet across, to a level that's equal to the level he's on (so he doesn't have the advantage of being able to jump downwards), through a railing and between spindles that are the same width apart as his body, while at least eight feet in the air.

We haven't had a kitty funeral, so he made it. I'm just hoping that my heart holds out in the future.

Laura picked up a stick

Julia picked up one of my Laura Ingalls Wilder books (Little House in the Big Woods) and she's pretending to read it out loud:

"Laura picked up a stick and she went up to the castle. She said something important. Laura played with her sister, laughing all the way. She played catch. She did something important. They had a party and ten minutes because Laura's birthday and no, her big sister, and Laura's birthday. Laura did something important that she could do. She picked up another stick and went to Laura's birthday party. (Julia turned the page) Laura went to somebody's birthday cake and she eat it all gone because she went to school and Mom and Dad picked up her sister and Mom and Dad and Laura. (Julia asked me what Laura's daddy's name was.) Charles ate the birthday cake all gone because he didn't have any rules in school. He had something important but that was a good deal. (Julia turned the page) She found a great dolly in jail. She wanted a dolly just like her sister. It looked just like her but she didn't have anything. But she had the dolly and it looked just like her. But she had hair and a beautiful dress. She went, the little sister went to daddy, he was making something with a feather and doing something else. (Julia turned the page) A bear made footprints in the snow. The bear walked and made footprints all over the snow. He wanted to eat the snow but he can't eat the snow. The bear has something important to eat, but he can eat fish, right? He can do anything like he can do, so he did something important but he didn't want to go to jail. Uh uh."

There, now you don't have to buy the book.

Oww

As I sit here typing in the corner of our bedroom, my calves are killing me. Not my calf muscles, the skin on the back of my calves. That skin got completely cooked today when we took the girls to Noah's Ark Waterpark (the largest in North America, doncha know).

I had slathered myself everywhere with sunscreen to protect my notoriously sensitive skin. I dumped handfuls of the stuff on my children. And I thought that the only place I got burned was at the very top of my shoulders, in two little stripes around my swimsuit straps. Not too shabby, I thought.

Then I bathed the girls tonight, and found that Allie got burned on the tops of her thighs and a little on her shoulder. She was in water more than I or Julia was, so she washed her sunscreen off more quickly and she got burned slightly.

Julia didn't get burned at all, which makes sense because she was a lot more leery about getting wet than her sister. So I thought I was just that little bit burned until I was stretching and bending to clean the girls and I thought, hmm, why do my calves hurt. Eek. I'm cooked.

I put sunscreen on the tops of my thighs because I've gotten painfully burned there before. I didn't keep going down my legs, foolish Deb. Somehow I didn't burn the top of my feet, unlike my husband, who is in real pain tonight because he once again managed to cook the area between his sandal (mandal) straps.

I'm not even going to talk about his burnt face, stomach, lower back, legs, and upper arms. Let's just say that my husband is not a wise man. Two of his sisters have already had skin cancer and yet he has to be a tough guy when it comes to sunscreen. He did his face and let me do his shoulders, and so he paid the price today and will probably again within the next five years.

I'm going to start putting sunscreen in his bath soap and bath towel, as well as his shirts and sheets. I don't like lobster. And I know I don't want holes in his epidermis.

The water park was a blast, by the way.

Inescapable

Is it possible to go anywhere these days without being bombarded with Shrek merchandising? It's insane. Restaurants, bookstores, discount stores, department stores, TV, online. Those marketing people certainly know what they're doing.

We've resisted so far, but I expect that we'll be going to see Shrek III this weekend. Like thousands of other weary parents.

Official junior bookworm

When Allie brought the last of her things home from school today, after an awesome last day of school field trip, her teacher included all of the reading logs we've completed for her during the school year. Yep, for the past nine months, I've written down (and had Allie rate using a smiley face, a neutral face, or a frowny face) almost every book she's read or had read to her. We don't usually read an entire book to her anymore, which is a big indicator of how her reading skills have improved this year. She's very eager to read to us.

She went to the school library at least three times each week, and I think it's a cool indicator of who she is as a kid that she only rated one book in the entire time period with a frowny face. One book, you say. Out of how many, Deb?

Well, actually. One out of 243. Yes, 243. That's how many books Allie has read in their entirety over the last few months. She's read at least parts of some additional books, but they didn't get written down unless she finished them (with one exception--I included "Where the Sidewalk Ends" because it's so long and she's read almost all of the poems).

I think that's awesomely cool.

Oh, she also did well on her report card and she's made some excellent strides after initially struggling with math, but hey, my kid is a bigtime reader. (Just like me, that's one of the awesome parts.)

Allie came in the room just now (she's staying up late since she doesn't have school tomorrow--yay, summer!) and she asked if I would read my post to her and if she could say something.

Allie says--I get to stay home with my Nana and Papa tomorrow. If we find my fishing pole, we could probably go fishing. The Weather Channel says it's going to be a nice day. Umm, what else should I put. My Nana will let us walk to the store. My friend, Hannah, is coming over June 15th. And we will watch a movie together. Hannah said, when the teacher asked us something that we would do over summer, she said, watch a movie with my friend. And then she looked at me and smiled.

See, my kid also has her own blog entries. Isn't she neat?

Gradua . . . huh?

Allie's last day of first grade is tomorrow, though she's going to spend it on a field trip to the zoo. We were on our way to school the other morning when I asked her if she remembered her last day of kindergarten last year at this time. She said, yes, I was sad. But I remember that Mrs. Grady made us feel special at our graduation. I wonder what Mrs. Mace is going to do for graduation.

It was distressing to have to tell her that for completing first grade, she gets nada. Nothing. She gets to come back next year and the year after that and so on for 7 more years until she gets a little graduation ceremony again.

She took it well.

Misadventure

Last night, the kitties went exploring. Yep, exploring into the wide, wonderful world. Yep, outside. Or as it's otherwise known, the FORBIDDEN ZONE.

Our cats do not go outside. It's safer for them and they live long, cosseted lives, vicariously viewing the world through windows with great windowsills.

Greg and I had spent a good part of the day cleaning, since my in-laws are coming to visit us today. The last time I saw the cats, they were throwing themselves at the top of the screen door that allows access onto the deck, trying fruitlessly to get at the bugs outside that were attracted by our lights.

We finished cleaning and sat on the couch to watch a little TV and talk. Greg went upstairs to take a shower before bed and I started turning out the lights and locking up. That's when I found out that the screen door to the deck was open a good three inches, or right about kitty width.

The screen door wasn't locked, so I figure they either developed paw strength enough to open the door without a handle or, they managed to jump up enough to jostle the door in the frame until it opened enough for them to squeeze through.

At 10:20 last night, I walked all over our yard calling their names. We've had them for 4 months now, so I was hopeful that was enough time that they'd actually know their names, which we changed when we got them. There were no squished kitties in the busy street that runs on the side of our house, so that was a good sign. Almost immediately, I saw the outline of a cat's head and ears looking at me from near our neighbor's driveway. Something didn't look right, though.

I called to the cat and walked a little closer, then bent down and made a noise with my fingers. The cat came over and I picked it up. He immediately started meowing as I brought him towards the light and I confirmed that he wasn't one of our cats. Brown/black body, white paws. Nope, not one of ours.

I let him go and kept calling. Walked a circle around the entire house calling. Then I saw Simon cowering on the deck. I went up and opened the door to the house for him, then came around behind him and he bolted into the house.

Greg came outside and we walked around some more, calling. He brought their food container--smart move. Greg saw Rabies hiding under the deck (in mud, since it had been raining off and on all day). Rabies came out to be petted eventually and Greg grabbed him, getting hissed at and getting muddy for his heroic rescue.

The adventure was over. I figure they were out there for probably an hour. We're going to start locking the screen door. Now, we are.

Oompa Loompa Love

We're watching the end of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." The old, good one, with Gene Wilder. I like this movie a lot. I've seen the new version, but I don't even remember anything about it, except that they changed the ending. This one is a classic and I'll stop and watch it whenever I chance upon it.

I don't remember whether I saw the movie or read the book first when I was a kid, but I know that I read the book more than once, plus the sequel. You mean you didn't know there's a sequel book? It's called "Charlie and the Glass Elevator" and it's a fantastic adventure in it's own right, involving outer space and aliens.

Right now, the scene at the very end is on, where they break out the roof of the candy factory and fly over Charlie's town. It looks beautiful, full of red clay roofs and winding streets. I wonder where it was filmed. Well, now I have to end this post and go look up the answer to that.

Thank god for the internet, or I'd wonder forever.

Home disparagement

Greg and I, like millions of other Americans, are fans of the latest crop of home improvement shows, which focus mostly on flipping. Flipping, if you don't know, is the process of buying a rundown house, renovating it very quickly, and then selling it for an immense profit. That is, immense profit, if the people doing the flipping aren't idiots.

We like Property Ladder, which features a host named Kirsten who's an expert on flipping. She visits properties at the beginning of projects, offers practical advice that the flippers almost always ignore completely, and then she visits for a post-mortem at the end. The flippers all, and I mean all, go over their timelines for completing their projects. They also all, and I mean all, go over their budgets.

Other mistakes are: becoming emotionally attached to the houses and thus putting in too much of their own (expensive or weird) taste; trying to do too much of the work themselves or with friends and family members instead of recognizing that they are over their heads and calling in contractors; making bad decisions on really important things (like not replacing broken air conditioning in a city where the temperature can rise to 110 degrees in the summer, or by deciding that closets aren't important in a master bedroom); and by going the cheap route in areas where people are looking for something better.

Greg and I are getting really good at yelling at the people on the TV (OK, mostly me). We just saw an episode where the couple started out committed to putting "environmentally friendly" elements into their flip, including solar panels. Then they hired the guy's brother as a contractor, and he screwed up a bunch of items. Then they thought washing the walls with a bleach solution would clear up a mold problem, ignoring the fact that mold growing on one side of a wall usually means it's growing on the other side of the wall too. And, to top it all off, they decided to try to sell the house themselves instead of going with a realtor.

I actually hate the idea of giving any money to a realtor. I think they get an absolutely ridiculous amount of money for doing what sometimes amounts to very little work. However, if you're flipping and time is a very important factor (and it always is for these people), then you're probably stupid not to get that realtor advantage.

In this most recent example, 26 weeks went by with the flip unsold. The couple's profit went from $104,000 to $43,000. Some people would say, hey! They made $43,000 in 9 months, so good for them. I know, I know. Actually, my sister and her husband flip houses and then do a rent-to-own arrangement for buyers and they're doing very well with it. That's not the point. For talking back to your TV and feeling superior, "flip TV" is hard to beat.

Coming soon to a summer near you

Well, it's June 1 and Allie has all of four school days left as a first grader. I swear that it seems like about three months ago that she was starting kindergarten. Now she's doing spelling tests, reads or tries to read most everything, adds two-digit numbers to other two-digit numbers, works on fractions, and is learning the rules of basketball. Amazing stuff, really.

Julia is very much looking forward to having Allie with her all day at daycare this summer. I figure that's going to last about a week, then she's going to be tired of being bossed around. One big disadvantage to Allie being at least two years older than all of the other kids is that she directs most of what they do. We're very lucky that our daycare provider thinks she's going to be able to take the kids on field trips in her van this summer. That'll be a nice adventure for all of them.

So Allie has her school picnic (parents invited) on Tuesday, and her last field trip to the zoo on Thursday. Then she's done, and on to second grade.

Our local high school graduation is tonight. The way things are going, it'll seem like Allie has reached that milestone in about four years.