Stuff

More than a month ago, Greg fired the girl who was trying to become our latest regular cleaning lady. I call her a girl because even though she was starting her own cleaning business with a friend, she couldn't have been more than 23 years old.

We gave her a try and the first time she cleaned, which was supposed to be her "super stupendous get your house in order for the first time" cleaning, she did a terrible job. I mean really terrible, where you wonder what she did in your house for two hours, or more.

The biggest disadvantage of this situation, besides the fact that Greg and I both really hate cleaning and so our house is now pretty darn dirty, is that it's become really, really messy.

When we've had a cleaning lady, we always aggressively tidied our house every two weeks, right before they visited, so they would spend more time making things spic and span and less time picking up and moving things.

We have not aggressively tidied the house in a long, long time and, as a result, we have stuff everywhere. I'm typing this sitting in a chair in the living room, and I can see the following items without even turning my head:

Many, many children's books, one of Allie's school notebooks from last year that she likes because she has many drawings in it, the bridle and harness from a toy horse (it's pink, of course), a Highlights magazine, a Leapster handheld game (pink), magazines (motorcycle and entertainment), tissues, crumpled napkins, Happy Meals toys times four, Allie's diary, dress-up shoes that Julia was wearing the other night (pink), a picture frame that talks that both girls like to record messages on, a Hello Kitty purse (pink), a fabric rose (pink) that has a bendy stem, a toy car, Julia's blankie (pink), Greg's laptop and about five different computer cables (I'm not typing on that computer), a Magic Eight Ball, an empty bottle of Gatorade, a giant ball, a newspaper, a 2007 calendar, a puzzle, binoculars, a toy lipstick (pink), a rock, a wand that goes with a Magic Dora hair growing doll (but the doll has been missing in action for ages), an Elmo birthday blow-out, a Christmas ornament, a CD, a stray sock, an eyeglass case, a toy golf ball, a fruit snack wrapper, a drawing that Allie made at daycare, the remote that we only use to change the TV to watch DVDs, a painted pumpkin that had better go in the trash before it rots into the carpeting, a pewter tooth fairy container, a plastic bottle that used to hold cookie decorations and that Julia has now filled with water, part of the vacuum cleaner hose extension, a Halloween pillow, the (pink) reel to a Disney Princess projector (but we don't know where the projector is), a (pink) purse full of pens, a magnet, a "cleansing wipes" container that Julia appropriated and filled with who knows what else, a hair band (pink), a white tube that I don't know the origin of, a Skydancer launching contraption (pink) with no Skydancer, two daughters watching "Polar Express," and a cat.

Christmas is coming. We'll clean for Christmas, right? Goodness, I hope so!