It should be round like a sausage and come out in an S-shape

We've been watching a lot of episodes lately of two shows from BBC America, "You Are What You Eat," and "How Clean Is Your House?"

The "How Clean" show is pretty straightforward, two lady cleaners who wear pearls and feathers on their rubber gloves find the most disgusting homes across England and clean them. We're talking seriously gross, including one woman who had a ton of slug trails under her living room couch and another who let her 11 pet birds fly loose in the lounge (living room), crapping and urinating on every surface. Most of the participants seem like borderline hoarders, or out and out hoarders. They remind me of Dan's stories about his neighbor, Eric.

The "You Are What" show features a woman named Gillian who's a nutritionist. She tackles individuals and families who are overweight and who eat unhealthily and tries to convert them, over six weeks, into people who love natural and organic foods and love their veg. People in the U.K. seem unable to produce the entire word, "vegetables."

Both shows seem to have an unnatural fascination with poop. They both call it "poo," which is so cutesy as to be silly. The cleaning ladies love to describe in detail how feces are coating every inch of people's bathrooms and the nutritionist said the quote in my title. She added, "It should still be attached to your bottom when it hits the water in the loo." In every show, she has people take a crap into a plastic container so she can open it later in front of them and comment on how she can tell they eat nothing but fatty and sugary foods from the look and the smell of their poop. She goes on at great length about how stinky things are.

I think I'll leave my comments at that.