My sister is getting married on September 20th and I'm standing up. I met with a seamstress (there's an old-fashioned word for you) yesterday to get my bridesmaid's dress tailored. Maybe I should call her a tailor? Doesn't seem right for a woman, and I'm as big a feminist as some and a bigger feminist than most.

Fortunately for me, she knows her way around a bridesmaid's dress. I took Industrial Arts in middle school instead of Home Ec and I can barely manage to sew buttons on, myself. Actually, I can sew buttons on, but they usually don't stay on very long. Greg is better at it than I am, which he would be happy to tell you when he's in the mood to send a minor knock at his wife.

My bride-to-be sister is having a bachelorette party this Saturday, which I am planning to attend. Does this mean I need to visit an adult bookstore for an appropriate gift? Believe it or not, somewhere we have a gift certificate to Selective Video, our local "dirty-goods" shop. It's my husband's; you'll have to ask him why we have it. I don't mind so much visiting an adult bookstore, it's just the embarassment of buying something--you want to tell the clerk that you're buying the 10-inch dildo as a gift for a friend, really, and you're not just saying that because you're embarassed.

Ask me sometime about the time I visited an adult bookstore with my mother-in-law. God's truth.