Isn't this what it's like?

I feel that if I take a deep breath, I'm immediately going to have to cough. It hurts when I swallow, like I accidentally got some glass down there. I feel like there's a short fat kid sitting in the middle of my chest. My head feels like it has a steel band around it. My nose is mostly stuffed up, at least where it isn't running. I know by tomorrow or the day after, the bottom of my nose is going to be bright red and sore from wiping so much. My lips are going to get chapped from having to breathe with my mouth open while I sleep.

Gee, only 6-9 more days to be sick with this cold.